G for Garbage
by KazunaPikachu
Summary: -If one person's trash is another person's treasure, then one Irken's garbage must be another Irken's Gir- Our beloved, defective robot has been kidnapped by the Garbage Man and Zim must battle the protectors of the Dump in order to get him back.


G for Garbage

An Invader Zim Fanfiction

-x-

Summary: -If one person's trash is another person's treasure, then one Irken's garbage must be another Irken's Gir- Our beloved, defective robot has been kidnapped by the Garbage Man and Zim must battle the protectors of the Dump in order to get him back.

-x-

"GIR! Where are you, Gir? I command you to _pick me up_!"

Zim was tired. Even though it was only seven o'clock in the morning, he already wanted to rest in his base _without_ having to beat up Dib or anyone else who wanted to stop him from having a pleasant, quiet day. He'd just finished his daily morning patrol of the city, surveying the humans' boring, repetitive activities and continuously insulting their hideous, destructive lifestyles, and he wanted to go home. _Now_.

"Will you answer me, Gir?" Zim hissed into his communication device. "GIR! Zim _demands_ that you answer!"

He was standing in an alleyway, hidden from the humans as they walked passed him, oblivious even as Zim screamed. The holographic screen continued to remain blank as no one answered him. Zim growled in frustration as he finally gave up and disconnected the link. _This is pathetic!_ he snarled to himself as he put on his human disguise. _Why must Gir always do this to me? He never answers my calls, even when I, the amazing, almighty ZIM, repeatedly __**demands**__ it!_ He was tired and his feet were sore. Walking through the humans' **disgusting **city really took it out of him.

_Stupid Gir,_ he thought as he commenced his walk to his base. Which, as a matter of fact, was _twenty-five kilometers away!_ "Why can't you just listen to me like you're programmed to?" Zim raged aloud. He shoved everyone who was in his way, not turning back even as one of them screamed, "AH! MY SKULL! YOU BROKE MY SKULL!"

After an hour or so of walking, Zim finally made it to his green, crazy-looking, utterly NORMAL house. Even after the walk, his rage had not dimmed. Rather, it merely heightened when he saw who was at his front door.

"DIB, you disgusting, filthy earth-monkey!" Zim snapped as he rushed towards the surprised human. Zim smoothly tackled him to the ground, pinning him down with an arm and a vicious sneer. "What are you doing at Zim's amazing base? What have you planted inside it, you rotten earth-child?!"

"Woah, Zim, calm down!" Dib tried, holding his hands up in defence, despite his position. "I wasn't doing anything! I mean it! Get off me!"

"LIES! You lie, Dib! If you truly want me to believe your pitiful excuse, then answer Zim this: Why are you not at your horrible SKOOL?" Zim growled. "Why would you leave your precious learning center just to come here and do NOTHING?"

Dib stared at him in a perplexed manner. "It's holidays Zim. It's _been_ holidays for the passed two weeks!"

_Oh yeah._ Zim glared but nevertheless stood up. He crossed his arms in front of him when Dib stood up too and dusted off his clothes. "I still won't believe your words, Dib-thing. I will conduct a thorough search on my base in order to detect any spying tools you've planted. Why am I telling you this? LEAVE! I do not wish to play with you today." He walked towards the door and unlocked it.

As Zim was about to open it, Dib called out, "Wait, what? You're giving up, just like that? Aren't you more curious as to _why_ I'm here in the first place?!"

Zim glanced behind him in order to give Dib a ruthless glare. "I don't have anything to settle with you right now, Dib-human. My anger as of this moment is directed towards Gir."

"Gir?" Dib repeated. "Oh, well, if you're looking for him, he's not in there."

Zim whipped around and took a threatening step closer to him. "… What?"

Dib backed away and pointed to the base's front curb. "He was, I dunno, sleeping there or something, next to the garbage cans. It's Tuesday, remember? The Garbage Man must've thought he was trash and took him to the Dump."

The alien released an enraged snarl and grabbed Dib's front shirt. He lifted him up with ease even as Dib struggled. "WHAT?! Irken technology has been abducted by your pathetic, lowly species?! This is unacceptable! Such superior, alien knowledge at the hands of stupid, inferior races? It's a disaster! How could you let this happen, Dib-thing? You, at least, should be smart enough to know that your _filthy_ human brethren are too stupid to handle such technology!"

The scythe-haired youth continued to struggle until he finally kicked Zim in the chest. The alien was forced to let go and Dib took three hasty steps backwards, away from Zim's attacking range. "Well, you won't really need to worry about anything, _Zim_," Dib stated with utter loathing. "Your robot is so stupid that I don't think we'll be able to steal _any_ of your 'superior, alien knowledge' from its tiny, probably non-existent brain."

Zim clenched his hands and glared murderously at him. "You shall pay HIDEOUSLY for your insult, human dirt-child! No one mocks the Almighty Tallests' custom-made SIR unit made especially for the great ZIM!" He summoned his PAK legs and towered over Dib like he was an ant. "After I rescue Gir from this 'Garbage Man', I will come back and break your weak, human legs!"

Dib hid behind a gnome just as Zim jumped and disappeared behind a few houses. After a few seconds of nothing happening, Dib finally walked towards Zim's base and chuckled. "Zim's pretty stupid too." To the open air in front of him, he shouted, "Thanks for unlocking your base's door Zim! That's exactly what I was waiting for!"

With a triumphant laugh, Dib entered Zim's base to wreak havoc of terrible doom.

-x-

Zim was still wearing his human disguise when he arrived at the front gates of the Dump. Although he knew that the itchy contact lenses and the black wig that dulled his antennae senses would dampen his combat skills, Zim figured that his current state of dress was more than enough to break into the Dump's fortress, rescue Gir, and then go back home unscratched.

The landscape around him reeked of dookie and garbage and decaying _stuff_. The smell was almost unbearable. Not a single blade of grass grew on the toxic ground and the sky was a bleak, dirty brown and purple. Mounds upon mounds of hideous, germy rubbish were piled from inside the gates, whereas the area outside it there were scattered pieces of trash and tire tracks. Zim glared in determination and then proceeded stiffly, with an army march, towards the front gate.

Just as he was two meters away from the entrance, a loud voice boomed, "HALT!"

Zim halted and somebody fell down from the lookout tower that stood beside the gate. That person landed in front of Zim with a massive thud, the earth cracking from beneath them. "I am the Dump Lookout Guy. Who are you and WHAT DO YOU WANT?" the man screamed.

Well, at least, Zim _thought_ it was a human man. He looked too demented, like some kind of filthy mutant, for Zim to be sure. The guy was covered with armor and beneath it, where the skin was exposed, Zim spied a number of yellow warts and large, protruding veins. The man's head was bulging as if a massive mosquito swarm had stung it repeatedly; his lips were non-existent and his ears were the size of tennis balls, with liquid that looked like pus oozing out of it.

So Zim did the only thing he could: he sprayed his disinfectant.

The Dump Lookout Guy fell to the ground with a pained scream, clutching his gigantic eyeballs and rolling around as if he were on fire. Zim stared for awhile and then he made his way around him as the Lookout began to sizzle, opening the entrance gate and walking idly inside.

_Huh. That sure was easy,_ Zim thought, looking around with a sneer. Everything here _stank_! What was wrong with these humans? Didn't they know how to properly dispose of their rubbish? _You have to launch all your trash to an enemy planet so that __**they**__ must suffer the terrible stink and toxins! Stuuuuuupid earth-monkeys. They're destroying their __**own**__ ecosystems!_ The stupidity of humans never failed to surprise him.

With a disgusted look, Zim commenced his search for Gir. He glanced down at the tracker device on his wrist. A red dot beeped close to the white dot in the middle. "Ah, he's not far then," Zim muttered aloud. _Alright then._ _Time to show off my AMAZING tracking skills! _"… GIR!" he shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. "GIR! I demand that you show yourself right now! I know where you are, Gir, and it's only a matter of time before the almighty ZIM finds you! Don't make this hard for me, Gir! I won't buy you anymore tacos no more!"

Nothing. Complete silence and the stink of garbage was all Zim received for a reply. Then suddenly, the ground shook. With his superior reaction skills, Zim was able to dodge the large ball of garbage that was aimed right for him. He rolled on the ground and crouched, ready for another attack, glaring at his new opponent.

He was gigantic! Not as tall as Zim's Tallests, but _huge_! He was probably as large as his Voot Cruiser, if not bigger. Resting on his shoulder was a large canon, looking deadly yet also trashy. Zim's opponent was large… and ugly. He too looked like a mutant, like the Dump Lookout Guy.

"Who are you?" Zim demanded furiously. "And how did you know that I was here?"

The mutant man blinked. "The alarms."

It was only then did Zim realize that the whole Dump was sounding with system alarms, with bright red lights flashing wildly around. _Hmm… How could I have missed that?_ "SILENCE! Zim has no need for your mockery!" the alien growled. "Now answer my question, canon-man. WHO ARE YOU?!"

The man glared and stood his full height. "I am Dump Guardian Numba 4 and you are trespassing on restricted property! Leave now before I disembowel you of your inner organs, _little_ man," he sneered.

Zim cackled madly. "Are your brain fluids made out of dookie? You're stupid to even _think_ that you can beat me, Invader Zim!" It was only after the Dump Guardian shot another garbage ball at him did Zim remember that he was disguised as a human right now, meaning that he couldn't use his PAK legs or lasers. _How bothersome!_ He dodge-rolled another canon ball and leapt towards the Guardian's hideous face, disinfectant in hand. _No matter! I don't need to waste Irken technology on such a pitifully weak human thing!_ But before Zim could spray, he was swatted aside as if he were a mere bug.

With a groan, Zim tried to pull himself up. When he opened his eyes, he realized that his contact lenses were broken and his wig had been stolen by a passing rat. Fear knotted in his stomach and he turned swiftly towards the Guardian. When he said nothing, Zim calmed down and stared oddly. "Why aren't you surprised by my appearance, earth-monkey?" he managed to sneer.

"You must be another victim of the Dump's toxic air," the Guardian stated. "Why didn't you say so? We inhabitants of the Dump have been mutated due to the destructive radioactive carbon being emitted from the trash. And as such, because we are fellow mutants, we are brethren. We will not fight anymore."

"Huh?" Zim was surprised that he defeated the Dump Guardian so easy. Were all the protectors of the fortress weaklings?

"FOOL!" another voice boomed. "I knew we shouldn't have accepted you into our cult! Stupid newbie, stand aside!"

Before Zim knew it, three others had joined them, cracking the earth beneath them due to their weight. Each had a symbol on their chest, along with writings beneath it, saying Dump Guardian Numba 1, Dump Guardian Numba 2 and Dump Guardian Numba 3 separately. Zim tensed as he realized that he was surrounded by the enemy, by all four Guardians of the Dump. They were all huge, all ugly, all stinky and gross. Zim wanted to gag at their body odour.

"This guy is an intruder! Just because he's a mutant doesn't make him a brethren!" Dump Guardian Numba 2 screamed at Numba 4. "I knew your initiation was a FLUKE! A FLUKE I told you! FLUUUUUUKE!"

"No need to be harsh now, Numba 2," Numba 1 stated with an eerie calm. "We must get rid of the intruder. There's no need for the Garbage Man to deal with this puny punk."

Zim's antenna lifted at the mention of the Garbage Man. "You know of the kidnapping Garbage Man?" He was suddenly in Numba 1's face, glaring straight into his mutant eyes while his hands and feet grabbed at his chubby face. "Is this Garbage Man your leader? Where is he? TAKE ME TO HIM OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF ZIM!" Zim hissed.

With a disgruntled look, Numba 1 ripped Zim away from him and held him up, dangling, by his antennas. "You are annoying," Numba 1 stated flatly. "I'm going to throw you over the Dump gates and back to your mutant home now."

But Zim continued to sneer, not at all intimidated. "You dare threaten me? ME, the future destroyer of your world? Ha! Don't make me laugh, fool!" He summoned his PAK legs. "You should fear me, earth-monkey. FEAR ME!"

He managed to escape from Numba 1's hold and stood, once again, in the middle of the four guardians with his PAK legs.

"Get him!" Numba 3 shouted. "He told us to fear him! NO ONE DARES TELL US TO FEAR THEM! Get him, the tiny maggot!"

Zim used his expert evasion skills in order to dodge each of their attacks. He managed to poke one of their eyes with his legs, which made him grin as they shouted in pain. But he was soon being overcome by the three guardians, their persistence annoying. _These Dump Guardians are strong but they shall never submit the amazing Invader Zim!_

Then one of them grabbed one of his PAK legs and Zim was jerked back. He was slammed into the ground and the PAK leg snapped off. Just as Numba 3 was about to smash Zim under his extraordinary weight, Numba 3 was blasted by a canon ball made out of trash.

"Numba 4, what are you doing?" screamed Numba 1.

"He is a mutant, my brother! I cannot allow you to harm him!" Numba 4 stated, deadly serious.

"Oooh, you traitorous, double-crossing fatty!" Numba 2 growled, advancing Numba 4. "You're gonna pay for that!"

As the three guardians advanced him, Numba 4 shouted to Zim, "Run, brother! Run for it! Go do what you had to do and then leave quickly! I'll hold them off for you!" Tears were in his eyes as he faced Zim. "You are my brother, mutant, little man. I could not allow you to be destroyed here. Destiny has a plan far more greater for you than being crushed beneath Numba 3's giant butt. Go. Do not worry for me. Do not turn back." A tear slipped. "I will be fine."

But as the battle between the Dump Guardians ensued, Zim was already crawling away, an annoyed look in his eyes. _They broke off one of my PAK legs! Oh, they will PAY! All four of them will pay DEARLY._ Obviously, he was oblivious to what Numba 4 had did for his sake, and what he had said. Zim just stood, retracting his remaining PAK legs, and continued to look for Gir, ignoring the battle noises and explosions coming from behind him as he walked away.

_This is getting irritating. I just want to find Gir and go home. _"GIR! Where are you?" he shouted angrily. He continued to follow the blinking red dot on his wrist. It led him to a giant mound of stinky trash. "Urg, you're in there, aren't you, Gir?" Zim growled. "I am NOT going in that FILTH. Zim demands that you show yourself, Gir! Now!"

But nothing leapt out of the trash mound. No Gir covered with garbage erupted from its surface and gave Zim a giant bear hug. There was no insane laughter that generally sounded from the robot's mouth. Nothing.

_I can't believe I'm doing this,_ Zim groaned. "You better obey me after I get you out, Gir, or else I'll take away your rubber piggies AND your tacos!" the alien threatened before diving right into the slimy mass of trash.

The slimy green and brown ooze stung his eyes as he searched for a silver and blue robot. Zim had to spit out numerous pieces of junk and rotten food from his mouth before he was forced to swallow them. The smell was so tremendous that he felt his vision blur and his squeegily spooch churn, threatening to make him vomit. All the germs Zim _knew_ were crawling all over him made him feel slightly hysterical and the closed-in, stinky, cramped space made him a tad claustrophobic.

In other words, swimming in a mound filled with aged, old JUNK and decaying foods was absolutely torture for Zim.

Finally, though, Zim found him. He grabbed Gir's antenna and dragged him out of the mound. Once they were in 'fresher' air, Zim wheezed and coughed, choking out the bits of metal and old banana peels that had jammed into his teeth. He dropped the still Gir on the ground and collapsed on his hands and knees, his body hacking away with coughs and wheezes. The smell was still strong around him and suddenly, Zim found that he couldn't breathe.

_The stink… of GARBAGE… It… CHOKES me!_

He shakily got out his disinfectant and sprayed it all over him, screaming and rolling thoughtlessly when it burned. But Zim knew that the burning was a GOOD thing. It meant that all those filthy bacteria things were DYING. Death to the germs!

After a few minutes of doing nothing but heavy breathing, Zim finally stood up. The smell wasn't so bad anymore or maybe he was just getting used to it. He walked towards his robot and kicked him. Gir didn't do anything; he just continued to lie there. His optics were blank. "Gir, your master has saved you. Now WAKE UP and take me HOME!" Zim demanded wearily.

But Gir was motionless.

Zim made a frustrated growl. _Useless piece of…_

Then the ground shook again. Zim looked up, yelling, "WHAT IS IT NOW?!"

But the threat didn't come from above. It came from below. The earth cracked as a large, armored man crawled out of it, a hideous look in his large, yellow eyes. His hands, each finger the size of sausages, slammed onto the ground next to Zim and the alien had to move out of the way in order to avoid the shock wave. He managed to save Gir as well when the giant fully emerged from beneath the earth, covered with grime and dirt and trash. The smell of him almost made Zim pass out. What was weird about this man (besides his unnatural size) was the fact that everything from the waist down was the bottom half of a Garbage Truck. _Half mutant, half machine. Fantastic._

"I. Am. Garbage Man," the large creature boomed, his voice deep and low. "You have unauthorized access to the contents of the Dump. Drop the trash, for it belongs in the Dump."

"You are mistaken, Garbage Man," Zim growled. Despite the tremendous height difference, he was strangely unafraid. "Gir belongs to me. He is Irken technology and I will not let any _filthy _earthen society to have him!"

"It is garbage," Garbage Man continued monotonously. "It belongs here, in the Dump, with the rest of the garbage. I am Garbage Man. All that is trash, all that is unwanted, belongs to me. The Dump is my domain. You are not welcome. Leave without taking anything of what is mine."

"Are you deaf, Garbage Man-thing?" Zim yelled. "I told you already: Gir belongs to me, ZIM! He does not belong at this Dump, nor does he belong to you! He is _my_ property!" He stood on three of his PAK legs, managing to balance even without the forth. With his PAK legs, Zim was as tall as the Garbage Man. "You have dared to steal what was the righteous property of an Irken Invader," Zim sneered. "You have challenged me to a duel!"

"I do not wish to duel," the Garbage Man declared calmly. "But I must if you do not give me back my garbage."

"Gir is not garbage, fool!" Zim snarled. His temper was rising to a very dangerous degree. "He is an advanced version of a SIR unit! Custom-made! Do not insult the Almighty Tallests' handiwork!"

"Garbage Man found it in the trashcan this morning," Garbage Man stated impassively. "It is broken. I have an eye to realize whether a machine is broken or not. That one, green man, _is_ broken. It is trash; it is garbage. What use is it to you now?"

"Gir isn't broken," Zim snapped, ignoring the initial question. "You have bad eyes. Besides, what is _wrong_ with you? Why would you want to keep so much trash? It's filthy, it's stinky, it's gross and completely undesirable! You're crazy to want to keep all this FILTH!"

The Garbage Man stared at Zim with steel-like eyes. "Are you not the same? You wish to keep your broken robot. It is of no use to you. But why do you keep it? Answer my question and you shall answer yours."

Something in Zim snapped. "GIR IS NOT GARBAGE! I AM SICK OF YOUR ACCUSATIONS!" He dropped the motionless robot to the ground and leapt, claws extended, towards the Garbage Man, a killing intent in his eyes. "Nothing the Tallests' make for me is garbage! Nothing! Why would they even _want_ to give me trash?! Lies! All you say are lies! Gir is not garbage. Gir is NOT!"

With his momentum, Zim was able to tackle the Garbage Man to the ground, despite his petit stature and the Garbage Man's tank-like weight. They squabbled on the ground, with Zim's PAK legs stabbing, striking and slashing, until they finally stopped. The Garbage Man lifted Zim, who was surprisingly not crushed yet, up with one hand, the hand pretty much enveloping Zim's entire head. The alien struggled, all of his snapped PAK legs in the Garbage Man's other hand. Zim was a little satisfied to know that he wasn't the only one damaged. The Garbage Man sported ugly slashes on his already disgusting face and he bled from multiple puncture wounds on his arms and shoulders.

"Let me go, filthy earth-creature!" Zim screeched, thrashing wildly around. "I am ZIM! _INVADER_ ZIM! You cannot destroy me! I will be the DOOM of you! The DOOM!"

But because the Garbage Man was holding him an arm-length's away, Zim's thrashing did nothing. Garbage Man stared at him as he continued to rant about his doom. After awhile though, he put him down. Zim was surprised when his feet touched solid earth without his skull being crushed. "Huh?"

"You received this… Gir… as a gift from someone important," Garbage Man deducted. "And although it is broken, you wish to keep it. You wish to keep it so badly that you risked your life coming here and fighting my guardians and me. How… peculiar."

Before Zim could say a word, the Garbage Man continued. "In answer to your question, I keep all this trash because each piece is my treasure. I was thrown away once, too, when I was a wee, little babe. I sympathize with the trash because I can feel _myself_ in them. All sad and lonely, discarded because they were ugly or no longer useful. They are treasure to me; they _are_ me." He stared at Zim seriously. "This piece of garbage, this… Gir… must be something you treasure too, if you wish to keep it despite its condition."

Zim stared at the Garbage Man as if he really _was_ crazy. "… What are you talking about?" he finally asked, one eye wider than the other as he studied this odd creature. "What kind of human condition are you speaking of? Perhaps you suffer from mental illness. The smell of all this SMELL must be harming your brain cells."

But the Garbage Man ignored him. "You may go, and you may take your _Gir_ with you. Nothing in the Dump will harm you any longer." Then he slid back into the hole in whence he came and disappeared.

Zim stared. "That… was weird." He threw Gir over his shoulder and proceeded to the Dump's exit. "The mission has been a success. Let's go, Gir, before _I_ start speaking crazy too."

-x-

On the way to the base, Gir finally woke up. When he did, he began screaming.

Zim threw him on the ground, thinking that he was going to attack him. "GIR!" When the robot started laughing, rolling around on the ground, Zim sighed. "You're awake and working now, are you? Good. You can take us home then," he said curtly.

But then Gir stopped rolling and just sat there. "Where was I?" he asked, looking up at Zim. It was night time now and there was no one on the footpath but them. Since Zim's disguise had been destroyed/stolen, and Gir didn't have his doggy disguise, Zim had to wait until nightfall until they could go back to their base without attracting any unwanted attention. He only hoped that Gir would stay quiet enough not to wake up the humans.

"You were kidnapped by the enemy, Gir," Zim said tightly. "How could you let that happen? SO MANY things could have been done to you! So many things could have endangered our mission because of your careless actions!"

Gir continued to sit there, a blank look on his face. "Ohhhh yeeaaaahhh…" he drawled, his optics brightening. "I was k_eee_dnapped!" he giggled.

"What happened, Gir?" Zim asked patiently. "Don't tell me you actually had a _nap_ next to the trashcans! Without your dog suit, too, where the whole neighbourhood could've seen you!"

The robot scratched his head. "Uhhh… no…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "Um…" Then he opened them again and beamed up at Zim. "Oh, I remember now, mastah! That Dib boy came, ya know, that guy with the g_iiiiiiii_ant head and the one you're always fighting w_iiiiiiii_th? He cames to the base and he knocked and I answered the door and then BAM, he zapped me with a zappy zap zap thingymajig and I can'ts remembers what h_aaaaaa_ppens after dat!" He grinned. "It felt all TINGLAY!"

"Dib," Zim growled beneath his breath. "I should've known." _It was all part of that Dib-human's plan! Purposely get the Garbage Man to kidnap Gir, make me leave the base unguarded so I can get him back, so that Dib himself could do STUFF in my BASE!_ The trickery was enough to boil Zim's blood. "Come, Gir! We must head to the base quickly! Who knows what that Dib-stink has done! Our whole mission could be in jeopardy!"

But Gir wasn't listening. He was staring at the dark bruises and cuts on Zim's undisguised face. Oh, _and_ his tremendous stink. "Whhhhy do you smell, mastah?" Gir question curiously. He crawled on top of Zim's head and sniffed at his cuts and bruises. "And whys are you all beaten up like you were a potato?"

Zim tried to pry Gir off to no prevail. "Because I went to the Dump to rescue you!" Zim growled. "Now get off my head! Get off, get off, get off!"

Gir cocked his head to the side. "The Duuuump? That's where garbage goes to."

"I know!" Zim shouted. "Get off! You're squishing my brain!"

Gir's optics turned red and he immediately jumped off of Zim's head, landing right in front of him. He saluted. "I thank you for rescuing me, master, but why did you do so? According to my previous observations, I am not like the other Standard-issue Information Retrieval units that the Almighty Tallests' have given out to the other Invaders. I am…" His optics turned cyan again. "I am… A TURKEY!" he laughed madly. "TURKEY!"

Zim was getting a headache. He grabbed Gir's wrist and began to drag him back to the direction of their base. "Gir, be quiet, or else you'll wake up the human things," he stated flatly. He felt… deflated. No matter how angry he was at Gir, no matter how frustrated, the robot just _wouldn't get it_. Gir never realized his mistakes, he never did anything Zim asked him to and Gir didn't seem to realize that he was almost constantly displeasing him. Zim knew that no matter how much he yelled at him, Gir would always _just_ _not_ get it. He wouldn't. He'd just make things so much harder for him. Gir couldn't do anything right, he was always messing things up, causing trouble. He might as well be…

"… Garbage."

Surprised, Zim turned around to find Gir just standing there, not budging from his spot. "What did you say, Gir?" he asked, his eyes narrowed.

"I am garbage." Gir looked up and Zim was surprised to find that his optics were filled with tears. "That's why the Garbage Man took me to the Dump. I am garbage. Why did you save me, mastah? I wasn't worth it!" He began crying loudly and he knelt down to hug Zim around the waist. "Why, mastah? Why would yas do that for ME? You gots owies and you're bleeding and you got hurt and why ME? You hate being covered with germy germs yet you went to the Dump FOR ME! Why, mastah? WHY?!"

Zim was surprised that Gir had remembered that he hated germs and bacteria; Gir being upset about something that _wasn't_ food or a pig was a surprise too.

As he continued to cry, Zim awkwardly tried to push him away. But the robot's grip was like iron and Zim sighed, stiffly patting Gir's metallic back. "There, there," he mumbled. "I am your master, Gir. You are my servant. I will not allow anything belonging to me to call themselves garbage, nor will I let anyone else call them so, because it is a LIE. You are mine, Gir, and nothing that belongs to ZIM is trash. Do you understand?" he said sternly. "Now Zim demands you to stop crying. You'll rust again."

But Gir didn't stop crying, like Zim had commanded. The alien wasn't at all surprised at that though. "I loves you, mastah," Gir said into his shirt. "I lurves you sooooo much."

"Yes, yes, I know." Zim sighed, lifting his robot up onto his feet. "Now show some Irken pride and stop with the leaky crying thing!" he said. "We have to get back to the base and make that Dib-worm pay," he sneered.

Gir grinned happily, wiping away a few stray tears. "Okie dokie, my mastah!" He grabbed Zim's arms and activated his rockets. With a trail of smoke behind them, they flew towards their base, Gir's flight pattern terrible and wild. Zim was screaming throughout the entire trip, worried for his life for the first time that day.

Okay, so maybe the robot _was_ made out of Irken garbage. But to Zim, that hunk of trash was Gir.

Gir, the only one who ever showed affection to him; the only one who cared for a defective alien that no one else cared about. Even if Gir learned nothing, even if he continuously messed up every plan for world domination, Zim would not throw him away. If this piece of _garbage_ was the only one who could make Zim feel wanted, then he'd keep it. And he won't let go.

-x-

KazunaPikachu

-x-


End file.
